by Mike Pennell, galleries volunteer
1. Having made the Polar bear growl, I wonder what the Penguin could do on obstreperous children!!
2. I find that a strident “Force 6” shout & pointed finger can reduce some of the younger ones to tears and thus make another boat available to the waiting queue.
3. If a boat is “Dunked”, the Duty Volunteer can just remove it from the pool without further ado, and await comments. (Think twice before doing it to an adult, if larger than you)
4. A variation on (3) above. When boat is “Dunked”, Duty Volunteer looks mortified and switches off the fans, muttering about Health & Safety. Remaining “Contestants” then direct their anger at the culprit, thus allowing Volunteer to make a lengthy detailed examination of yacht – until other Contestants have either wounded the culprit of left the area.
5. Since corporal punishment is not permitted, I’m thinking of retaining our Electrical wizard to design a low-voltage Taser, as “Required Waterfront Volunteer Equipment.”
