by Keith Evans
We must publicize our presence at every opportunity, especially this time of the season. A midday gun fired from the tower would help, especially if the odd live round fired at Paul's Warts was included.
This reminds me of the Irish sexton, Paddy, who set the church clock by the gun fired from the castle overlooking the town. One day he met Danny the castle curator. "Danny" he said, "how do you know when to fire the gun?" "Easy," said Danny "I have a telescope trained on the church clock."
We missed a golden opportunity for publicity during the recent freeze. We should have had a dog-sleigh shuttle service from the car park. I've always fancied shouting 'Mush! Mush!' to a team of dogs. Alternatively we could have had a more sedate reindeer sledge. Of course we'd have to have a feasibility study. Health & Safety would have said you must have dogs on a lead with a maximum length of 1.275 metres and the reindeer wouldn't like the snow.
