In the days of printed Nauti News, I had my occasional rant about some of the regulations that come our way. Forgive me if I return to this well-worn subject with two recent examples of the 1984 - should it now be 2014 - world we inhabit.
A couple of members of the Office team are doing an NVQ in Super Advanced Arithmetic. A few days after they started, one of them walked into my office with a ruler, looked around and started drawing something on a pad of paper. 'What are you up to?' I asked with the air of Mr Brown faced with Mrs Cameron wandering around No 10 carrying a tape measure. 'Are you measuring my coffin or are you planning to re-decorate my office at last?'
The answer was so obvious, I had not thought of it: before doing the (written) Arithmetic test, the tutor had insisted that the student draw a plan of the office, marking on it all the desks and chairs and identifying all the hazards. Only when that was complete were they allowed to get on with the long division or whatever it was. I do not know if they included a picture of a pencil (sharp) or boss (cross at the waste of time on stupid tasks).
A few days later I enquired whether the results had come in. 'Yes, but I was not allowed to discuss the answers until I had reported how many reportable accidents and incidents of bullying there had been since I had done the test.'
Quite separately, I also received details of a new NVQ in Culture Heritage Management, a subject I thought I knew something about having been working in the field for over 20 years. The three bullet points at the top of the sheet of paper started with something along the lines 'Understanding the effect you have on other peoples' safety'. What was I expecting? Perhaps something along the lines 'What do we mean by Cultural Heritage?' or 'Why do we preserve the past?' or 'How do we preserve the past?'
It just shows how I need training. For 20+ years I have been unaware that the most important thing about cultural heritage management was safety; I thought it was to do with the past. Mind you, long ago there was a sign on Launceston Castle which simply said: 'Danger children'. I wish I had photographed it and made a cut-out badge for some of us.
Contrary to common belief, it is not EU or government legislation that demands such idiocies. It is mindless low-level adherence to what people think is important in the modern world. Fashions will change in a few years and we will have another thing to worry about but for now, grrrrr ...
Sorry, I must go; I need to draw a picture of my tea cup and make a large sign saying 'Hot tea'. Hang on, doesn't tea have some interesting side effect? I must add that to the sign.
Jonathan
