by Keith Evans (Gallery Volunteer)
Sensory disturbances have always intrigued me. I learned to sail in the 50s on the Norfolk Broads, following in the footsteps of Nelson – but there the similarity ends. We used to take a coach-load of staff from London, hiring a fleet of boats. We had to rendezvous on Ranworth Broad on the Sunday evening because the hospital chaplain had an arrangement with the Vicar of Ranworth, the ‘Cathedral of the Broads’, to take evensong. We had to rendezvous on the evenings because we sailed mixed crews, but had designated ‘snooze-boats’ at night – at least that was the theory. After a particularly rough day’s sailing a disreputable looking mob ambled up to the church – there was no excuse. During a quiet prayer session my pal Nick nudged me in the ribs and said ‘Keith, is that eagle on the lecturn flying up and down?’ I opened one eye and answered ‘ Yes’ ‘Thank God for that’ he said, ‘I thought it was me.’
The all too brief Titanic exhibition brought an amazing number of visitors with family associations, some with documentation, postcards, certificates etc. One old man knew of the newspaper boy on the placard. His name was Ned who was later killed in the war. The talks brought forth some entertaining comments, like the chap who insisted the ship sank because all its rivets ‘popped’. No wonder there were over 1500 victims with two million rivets flying about. But the highlight must have been when a certain volunteer gave his talk with a vital zip undone. He wondered why all the ladies’ eyes were down-cast. A strategically placed folder avoided a mass swooning!
Now we pride ourselves as being an educational establishment, one might say a centre of excellence, so we must stop confusing the little dears. In the winter we have icebergs either end of the pool, a polar bear on one and a penguin on the other. Polar bears live in the Arctic and penguins in the Antarctic, we therefore should have a line half way down the pool to represent the equator. We could even evolve a ‘crossing of the line’ ceremony. I suggest chucking the little darlings in. That’ll teach them a lesson they’d never forget!
Romance came close to home recently with two nuptials. Congratulations to both Ben and Derryth. Must be something in the museum air – Trevor could you change the filters in the air conditioning system please? Offspring are arriving too, involving years of stress, demands and temper tantrums. The baby could create problems too. However there is a new treatment for depression – play your wedding video backwards. The bride processes backward down the aisle, gets into her car and goes back to mummy. Unfortunately it’s only effective in 50% of cases – i.e. the male gender. Any suggestions for therapy for females to the editor please on a postcard and would she please give me notice of publication so that I can take a month off!
