PIRATICAL U.K. NAVIES (by an ex-lifeboatman)
The Birmingham Navy is legend
(it was fine when they left Perry Barr)
Towing the dinghy was easy
in their secondhand, uninsured, car.
Lifejackets hadn’t been purchased,
nor had flares (what the heck are they for?)
At the coast there were gales,
but they hoisted the sails
and usually didn’t get far!!
………
The Southend equivalent’s different,
they use speedboats of minimum size,
but the engine is large
(it would drive a Thames barge)
and an Essex girl “crew” isn’t wise!!
They make sure they have enough beer
and they each have a mobile phone;
The one thing forgotten is petrol,
so they cannot get home on their own!!
……
In each case a Lifeboatman’s nightmare,
for neither crew thought they’d done wrong
and no sooner this crowd has been rescued,
than another damned lot comes along!!
****************
WAYS OF GOING AFLOAT
Supercalifragalistic….Mirror, Laser, Finn,
I don’t mind looking AT them, but you’d never get me IN.
You hang out on a harness to keep the boat upright,
the Tacking isn’t Wearing, but it’s one continual fight.
Dinghies are for youngsters, muscular and fit;
but I require a solid deck, and a comfy seat to sit.
An engine saves you so much work, (I know it uses fuel);
But no more sweating pulling ropes, you just stay nice and cool.
I much prefer big engines, and a Thousand g.r.t.
(and being paid for driving it) - That’s more the life for me.
You have to carry cargo, and that can be a bind,
but if the cargo’s human, there are chances to unwind!!
