by Keith Evans
Foreign visitors are often interesting. A German couple from Bremen thought the museum 'very impressive'. They were particularly intrigued by the boats on Waterfront. "We have sailboats at our museum, but you have wind. Very clever. We have no wind." Must be very boring, I thought, to have sailboats with no vind, I mean wind. All we want now is the tide, which would impress them even more.
I remember meeting an American from the midwest crossing the causeway to St Michael's Mount. He had never seen the sea. As the tide was coming in rapidly I felt I ought to warn him. "Don't get cut off by the tide" I said. " The tide?" he said "How often does it come in?" "Twice a day" I said. "Twice a day. I thought it only came in once a fortnight." He turned on his heels and beat us back to Marazion.
Then there was a French man teaching his 'Oo La La' girlfriend the finer points of sailing on the Waterfront. I was very impressed, by his sailing expertise I mean. Come to think of it, his dark haired damsel with mini-skirt and ... don't let me get started on that, you know it's not good for me. I was impressed until he looked up to the roof and asked "Where is ze wind coming from?" Well, we all have our blind spots.
A burly Scot jabbered away at me in, I think, a cross between Gaelic, Chinese Mandarin and the odd word of English. I wasn't quite sure whether he wanted a pint, a pasty or a pee. I thought it was the last one so I directed him to the loo. I think I got it wrong because he gave me a funny look. Well, you can't get them all right.
