Wednesday, 14 July 2010

The new A.I.S.

by Mike Pennell

We have been led to believe that the new electronic display in Lookout is for the benefit of Volunteers and Visitors alike – and that AIS stands for Automatic Identification of Ships. How naive do they think we are!! A 'mole' has informed me it is actually a Management trial for a much more intrusive policy that will shortly be operating during working hours.

Each Volunteer’s radio will be fitted with a responder and the Duty Managers will be able to sit in their comfy office monitoring a screen that depicts the whereabouts of everyone on duty in the Galleries.

A.I.S. actually means Awareness of Individual Slackers and the responder will sound an alarm if anyone leaves their radio in a Gallery while they slope off to the Café or 1912.

A Volunteer clocking-up three alarms in one month will be subject to an A.S.B.O. (Absolute Suspension of Breaks and Outings). It is felt that dire thirst and confinement to the Museum will bring them to their senses, without contravening a Volunteer’s Human Rights.

Dependent upon the success of the trial, Office Staff may be included in the system later this year.