For every Volunteer, Health and Safety is a must,
Though some of the requirements may seem crazy or unjust.
There's also some omissions that need to be addressed
for every day there's ailments that could make you quite distressed.
There's Elevator Digit caused by using both the lifts;
Rotating rosters make this move a problem duiring shifts.
The Waterfront is special but beware of Boathook Strain
Caused by moving buoys or islands that have got displaced again.
Inflator's Foot is common when you're working in Main Hall;
There's no one else to pump the raft; it won't stay up at all.
Then there's Toilet Pointer's Syndrome and that's a daily task;
Most tourists seem to be caught short and many of them ask.
Transmitter's Thumb is rampant if you're on the air at all;
It could become endemic by the late summer or the fall.
Genuflecting is required to Directors or Trustees;
I've even heard that some expect you down on bended knees!
This may be fine for youngsters who are flexible and fit,
But Oldies could lock solid: couldn't stand or even sit.
I've asked around my colleagues just to quantify the risk,
And from what I've learned, I'm worried we could overload Treliske.
Mike Pennel, Galleries
