Grumpy Volunteer's Corner

by Keith Evans

I'm back, having been out of circulation for most of the summer, so it's about time I had another 'grump'.

The museum hasn't changed much during my absence. The kids are still rampaging around, the oldies are still asking for the toilet, the recent storms have formed a few more leaks and the washing up still needs to be done in 1912.

I missed most of the summer including the crabbing, ah! I believe that over 300 crabs were hauled up, although it was rumoured to be the same crab with a fetish for plastic buckets. The penguin sat on his iceberg on Waterfront all summer. What happened to our bikini-clad damsel? The summer wasn't that bad!

Pudsey's visit on 'Children in Need' evening was a great success although no-one noticed my 5 seconds of fame when I appeared in the background. Jonathan also appeared on TV recently on the 'Antiques Road Trip' but there were no offers for him, so you're stuck with us both.

May I wish you the best of grumbles for the coming year.

There now, I feel better for that.

2014

Just when we thought our Museum Poet's muse had finally dried up, he has sent in the following new year offering:

So Twenty-Fourteen’s here at last,
I hope it brings good cheer –
To Staff & Volunteers alike,
I wish a great New Year.

I thought “What makes a Grumpy”?
I guess they must be old,
And do their bit regardless –
Whatever they’ve been told!!

It’s tourists that make problems,
They keep on asking questions! -
And some just won’t believe you;
When you offer bright suggestions.

If their background’s Nautical
It can pose some awkward queries –
“Have you secured your futtocks yet”?
“Oh yes, they’re spliced in series!!”

Nine years on, and senile,
I miss the cut and thrust –
But Grumpies have a “sell-by” date
So retirement was a must.

We are still contemplating the idea that Grumpies have a 'sell-by' date. we thought they just got grumpier and went on until they dropped (or joined the Friday afternoon team).

Happy New Year to our reader.