Grumpy Volunteer's Corner

by Keith Evans

After a recent talk in Lookout in which, as usual, I mentioned that Dutch engineers had been commissioned to build the quays in Falmouth & Flushing in the early 1600s, a young Dutch couple approached me. She was gorgeous: petite, short blonde hair, blue eyes & a dazzling smile. But I digress, sorry about that. Now, where was I? Oh yes, "Why Dutch engineers?" she asked. "Well," I said, "Dutch engineers have always been expert at building quays and dykes. Our silly environmentalists surrender land to the sea. Yours are much more sensible & have always reclaimed land." She beamed & held her hands away from her head suggesting a big head.

The Antique's Roadshow is coming to the museum & they've been asking for volunteers to help. I did consider applying but on second thoughts I'd probably be mistaken for one of the exhibits. I can see the entry in the catalogue now: 'An unusual specimen of Celtic-ware. Shows signs of wear & has seen better days. Slightly cracked but not quite ready for the scrap-heap.' I don't think I'll take the risk!

Gold for our local hero

During the afternoon sesion at the Maritime Museum on 5 August 2012 it was announced that the Finn racing event would be screened in the theatre for visitors to watch. There was, at the time of the showing of the race, a quietness in the building as most of the visitors found their way to the theatre. When the viewing of the Olympic race was over & Ben Ainslie's success had been announced there was a rush of visitors to the Waterfront pool & Clive Mathison & John Fortey found themselves swamped with contestants aged 5 years to 55 years (plus), all wanting to race our model yachts. Parents were taking photographs of their children on the model Olympic podium & applauding Ben Ainslie's success with cheers & clapping. Our Waterfront location was extremely busy right until closing time. The 'buzz' was really amazing and it was great to be a part of the enthusiasm of the Olympic success of Great Britain's team hero.

Clive Mathison, Volunteer

Grumpy Volunteer's Corner

by Keith Evans

Even the seagulls are fed up with this summer. A couple of them were sheltering under an umbrella on the pontoon. I heard snatches of conversation and the gist of it was as follows: "I blame Jonathan. He did a rain dance with that pink duster and rather over did it." "Have you seen that so-called Bronze Age boat? Actually it's a replica Noah's Ark but noone will admit to it." "Well, you know what happened to the original. It ended up on top of a mountain. I blame Mrs Noah for that. She didn't know port from starboard." "This one is Andy's Ark. It'll probably end up on St Agnes Beacon if the Cornish wreckers have anything to do with it." "Down the coast, of course, that bloke St Piran came ashore on a millstone having sailed from Ireland." "I don't believe a word of it. Millstones have a hole in the middle." "Well, you've heard of the Dutch boy who stuck his finger in a hole. St Piran put his toe in the hole. He was said to be chanting when he came ashore. Actually he was wailing in pain because he got his toe stuck in the hole."

Now enough of this nonsense. Where was I? Oh yes, the seagull on the pontoon. A couple of crabs were celebrating at the other end. "They'll never let the little darlings down here in this weather" one said. "They can keep their rotten bait." Just then the two seagulls took off squawking "Into each life a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous!"